Secrets one and two (thanksgiving got in the way)

Allow me to now unearth two secrets about myself that I have held onto for quite some time.

Secret #1 - Envy - I have hated all of my friends who have been given everything they have. I have had to work my ass off for anything I get and most of it I got late for a long time while I was a kid, yet I watched people get handed things left and right. Cars, Toys, Games, Lifes, the whole nine yards. I have had dreams of going into one of my friend's houses with a baseball bat and just taking everything out and it made me oddly happy. Perhaps I'm just a jealous person (which is oddly apparent if you ask me) but I have a lot of envy for the things you all have been given. Even now I harbor some of it but it's very mild as I've grown older.

Secret #2 - Wrath - I enjoy hurting other people. This is a true statement, I enjoy the pain of others more than anyone really should. I like watching people squirm and cry out in agony which is very fucked up but it's what I am so I have no problem telling the truth about it. I have purposely put people in bad situations to watch the outcome before many times in the past. It just gives me a surge to the brain of endorphins that I haven't found another way to get yet. Although with me telling everyone this I can tell you I have been gaining no enjoyment from others pain lately (last 6 months) but I never know if it will flare back up anytime soon so it's better to put it out there. I just get this sick feeling in my head that makes me grin on my internal face even if I show sorrow on the outside.

Two down, five to go. These are very mild so I look forward to the posts over the next few days and finally being free of a few demons I've been harboring.