Secrets Three and Four (Moving gets in the way)

I've decided to just post 2 at a time until the seventh one, so bear with me please.

Secret #3 - Sloth - I have the tendency to be extremely lazy and lie if I have to to get out of doing things. This covers anything from extra work to helping someone move to doing something important for others. I have been a sloth for a long time now and have used excuses multiple times in order to get out of it all. This ranges from anything from making an excuse that I am sick to get out of work to lying about death to get out of dodge for shit storms that have rolled in (it has not happened recently at all but it still makes me feel like shit).

Secret #4 - Greed - I have become a very greedy person over the years and have found myself wanting...no...NEEDING anything that someone else has that I want. In the past I have stolen from people close to me and those who aren't close to me, especially as a child. I wanted more possessions than anyone around me had and it seems like things didn't change easily. For years I took and stole and bought and got anything I wanted until I caught myself in the actions and had a break down about it.

Four down, Three more to go and it's only getting harder for me to type them out knowing what they will be, but it has to be done to stop the vicious cycle my life found itself in.

Secrets one and two (thanksgiving got in the way)

Allow me to now unearth two secrets about myself that I have held onto for quite some time.

Secret #1 - Envy - I have hated all of my friends who have been given everything they have. I have had to work my ass off for anything I get and most of it I got late for a long time while I was a kid, yet I watched people get handed things left and right. Cars, Toys, Games, Lifes, the whole nine yards. I have had dreams of going into one of my friend's houses with a baseball bat and just taking everything out and it made me oddly happy. Perhaps I'm just a jealous person (which is oddly apparent if you ask me) but I have a lot of envy for the things you all have been given. Even now I harbor some of it but it's very mild as I've grown older.

Secret #2 - Wrath - I enjoy hurting other people. This is a true statement, I enjoy the pain of others more than anyone really should. I like watching people squirm and cry out in agony which is very fucked up but it's what I am so I have no problem telling the truth about it. I have purposely put people in bad situations to watch the outcome before many times in the past. It just gives me a surge to the brain of endorphins that I haven't found another way to get yet. Although with me telling everyone this I can tell you I have been gaining no enjoyment from others pain lately (last 6 months) but I never know if it will flare back up anytime soon so it's better to put it out there. I just get this sick feeling in my head that makes me grin on my internal face even if I show sorrow on the outside.

Two down, five to go. These are very mild so I look forward to the posts over the next few days and finally being free of a few demons I've been harboring.

Secret Second Life

Secrets. Some are as big as the world we inhabit, others as small as a flea, and yet we all have a handful of them that we never want to be brought to light. I have decided in order to push myself forward as a good person I need to let go of 7 of my dirty secrets that I have held on to for so long. Over the next 7 days I will be posting a blog and the title of each one will be the secret I am revealing. The secrets will get bigger and bigger as the days go on until the 7th and final one is revealed, and it's quite a big secret. So with that being said it's time to play the waiting game. I'll see you tomorrow.