past ghosts and future spirits
Posted by
Dystopia Reanimated
at
12:53 AM
The naughty little woodpecker knocked holes, crumbling the forest, the angry wood god turned his beak into poison! The poor little woodpecker, his nest was poison, and his supper too! He touched his friends and they all died. The sad little woodpecker, his little poison tears twinkle and shine.
Pursuit of Happiness
Posted by
Dystopia Reanimated
at
12:36 AM
Pursuit of happiness for the first real time since February 2010. Hopefully I can remember how to feel when I want to smile because this goofy grin doesn't fit me.
ha
ha
ha
...that wasn't that funny.
ha
ha
ha
...that wasn't that funny.
New year; New me
Posted by
Dystopia Reanimated
at
12:06 AM
Secret #5 - Gluttony - I have been a glutton for punishment over the years and have noticed that over time I will put myself (or those near me) into a situation to observe what we do when things go wrong. An example of this is relationship wise I'd ignore someone for awhile to see what their reaction would be, knowing it would be something I would not enjoy but I wanted to know anyways. My craving for knowledge knows no end and my self inflicted feelings of not being "good enough" have become the reason I do this to myself or anyone around me over the years. SO if you have been a victim of this I do apologize because it's not you, it's me.
Secret #6 - Lust - This one goes hand in hand with gluttony in a way. I have a want, no, a NEED to belong. Although on the outside I seem to be an independent person who prides himself on being unique I am just a little man who wants to fit in with the crowd. I have stepped on people over the years, hurt people, laughed at others, bullied, and belittled others to cover up my insecurities and flaws online, offline, and everywhere in the middle in order to feel better about myself. But my lust for belonging doesn't end there, that would be too simple. Being normal means having a girlfriend, family, and friends who you get along with. Over the years I have lied to myself and forced myself to ignore my true feelings about people in order to fit in, otherwise I would never have dated, never would have been personable, and never would have befriended 95% of my friends. I now feel like a new man by cutting the fat out of my life and just being myself for a change. I feel comfortable in my own skin and frankly, it's a nice change.
Secret #7 - Pride - Over the years, none of the seven deadly sins would describe me more than pride. I have desired to fit in and be one of the crowd over the years, but I have always driven myself to be above and beyond anyone in things that I did for nothing more than bragging rights. I wanted all the perks that came along with being better than others, being willing to judge them, to look at them down my face and laugh at their shortcomings. I wanted to prove that I wasn't a loser and I was here for a purpose and it all went to my head. I WANTED TO BE BETTER THAN GOD AT ONE POINT. I was obsessed with this for years of my life and the people who suffered were those who were around me. From my friends Andrew, Andy, and Trevor who had to deal with it for years when we gamed together, to the tons of people I went to school with and put down to my family which over the years put up with more than they had to, I had become my own kind of monster and I loved it.
Now that the years have come and gone and I can fully reflect on my past, I must say a few words that I have needed to get off my mind to everyone who still talks to me and has been a victim of my insanity over the years:
I'M SORRY
Now I work on making myself better for this new year, and this time I really mean it. The old me has to change into something new if I want to attempt to enjoy life again with the holes I had put into myself, or deal with them. Either way 2011 will be a very interesting year for everyone and I hope you can enjoy this year as much as I do.
If you are wondering yes I have been drinking a bit, so if anything looks wrong or is off /shrug I'm not perfect and I'm ok with it.
.../thumbsup
Secret #6 - Lust - This one goes hand in hand with gluttony in a way. I have a want, no, a NEED to belong. Although on the outside I seem to be an independent person who prides himself on being unique I am just a little man who wants to fit in with the crowd. I have stepped on people over the years, hurt people, laughed at others, bullied, and belittled others to cover up my insecurities and flaws online, offline, and everywhere in the middle in order to feel better about myself. But my lust for belonging doesn't end there, that would be too simple. Being normal means having a girlfriend, family, and friends who you get along with. Over the years I have lied to myself and forced myself to ignore my true feelings about people in order to fit in, otherwise I would never have dated, never would have been personable, and never would have befriended 95% of my friends. I now feel like a new man by cutting the fat out of my life and just being myself for a change. I feel comfortable in my own skin and frankly, it's a nice change.
Secret #7 - Pride - Over the years, none of the seven deadly sins would describe me more than pride. I have desired to fit in and be one of the crowd over the years, but I have always driven myself to be above and beyond anyone in things that I did for nothing more than bragging rights. I wanted all the perks that came along with being better than others, being willing to judge them, to look at them down my face and laugh at their shortcomings. I wanted to prove that I wasn't a loser and I was here for a purpose and it all went to my head. I WANTED TO BE BETTER THAN GOD AT ONE POINT. I was obsessed with this for years of my life and the people who suffered were those who were around me. From my friends Andrew, Andy, and Trevor who had to deal with it for years when we gamed together, to the tons of people I went to school with and put down to my family which over the years put up with more than they had to, I had become my own kind of monster and I loved it.
Now that the years have come and gone and I can fully reflect on my past, I must say a few words that I have needed to get off my mind to everyone who still talks to me and has been a victim of my insanity over the years:
I'M SORRY
Now I work on making myself better for this new year, and this time I really mean it. The old me has to change into something new if I want to attempt to enjoy life again with the holes I had put into myself, or deal with them. Either way 2011 will be a very interesting year for everyone and I hope you can enjoy this year as much as I do.
If you are wondering yes I have been drinking a bit, so if anything looks wrong or is off /shrug I'm not perfect and I'm ok with it.
.../thumbsup
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